Swiping left
You’re having less sex than you thought
By: Shannon Millard and Sarah White
Harper Halley, 23, was only mildly surprised when a strange woman ended up his bed one evening after a party.
“My friend invited a couple of girls over, and when he disappeared at the end of the night, the one girl was just left to party with us” Halley said.
Halley, a psychology major and communications minor at Central Michigan University, is among the hundreds of students hooking up, making out and getting it on.
“She decided she was sleeping in my bed, so without saying a word we just rolled over and we ended up fucking on my closet floor,” Halley said.
An examination of the hook up culture at Michigan’s five largest campuses revealed that students do, in fact, hook up – a lot. But, the definitions of what that means varies and a non-scientific survey of CMU students revealed that parties might not be the most common place where they are meeting in our new technologically infused campuses. Still there are the classic, common day hookup stories like Halley’s that are strange, unplanned, and kinda awesome. In Halley’s own words, “only at Central.”
What is hooking up?
Like the U.S. Supreme Court and pornography, everybody knows what it means to hook up, but exact definitions are hard to come. The dictionary defines hook up, the verb, as “to become associated especially in a working, social, or sexual relationships,” but is that how college students are using it? Is there a difference between hooking up and sex?
Wayne State junior, Loy Cohen, said hooking up means having sex without being in a relationship.
“For me personally, hooking up is just you did your job basically, you met the girl, or dude or whatever your case is, you go the room then ya’ll did what ya’ll did, and thats just basically it. Ya’ll have no connections or feeling about it and hopefully you don't ever see them again,” Cohen said.
His friend Whitney Kelsey put it in clearer terms, “I have two different names (for hooking up), I used fooled around for maybe you just made out and didn't actually have sex and hook up is you actually had sex.”
CMU senior Sophia Lantz said hook up is less an act than a range of acts.
“I think it can mean literally anything from a peck (on the cheek) to having sex, so I just
ask my friends what they mean if they use the term hook up.” - Sophia Lantz, senior
In a survey conducted of 153 undergrad students on CMU’s campus, students said that they, indeed, are having sex, just not as often perhaps as perceived.
When asked if they attended parties for the purpose of finding a sexual partner, 84.31 percent answered “no” while 14.38 percent answered “sometimes.” Out of the students surveyed, 73.86 percent were female and 26.14 percent were male.
Halley said that when he was single, he would go to parties to find someone for the night or maybe a few nights. He laughed it off after realizing that he met his current girlfriend at a party at Tree Love.
Tinder as the new dating scene
Like many other aspects of culture, technology has become a large party of the hook-up scene. For many, the medium of choice is Tinder, where the real and digital worlds collide.
Just as dressing to lure a partner is time-honored and time-consuming, the Tinder pic is just as important. Getting ready can be adventurous and a ritual for most when about to go out on the town. For the less adventure prone there is also Tinder.
The outfit, hair, smile and overall appearance are still the first thing on your mind, but this time it is the only deciding factor in getting a match or getting left swiped, as know as denied in the real world.
Tinder is a location-based dating app that allows mutually interested users to communicate. The profile created is based off of your Facebook information, and the photos can also be pulled straight from your photo albums. The popular app lists your first name, age and a short biography as well as displaying up to six images.
The first photo displayed on Tinder is also the first impression. Users can either swipe right to show they are interested or swipe left if they are not. If both users choose to swipe right then they have created a match. Matches can send each other private messages. This kind of quick, easy dating has made the app popular.
The New York Times, citing a “reliable source” from Tinder, reported in October 2014 that the app was approaching 50 million. Tinder makes 12 million matches per day.
Halley said he used Tinder, but not with the extraordinary effect of his friend.
“I met a few girls through Tinder that I did stuff with, but my buddy would get laid by every other girl that he matched with. When I used it, I only hooked up with like three or four of the girls; but I talked to like 12 girls in my match list. I think Tinder is 100 percent a hook up app because it’s based not on the personality or chemistry but solely on attraction level.”
There are no statistics that show the percent of users who actually meet up with their matches, but CMU senior Ryan Fuller said many probably do – although he says he doesn’t. “I don’t use Tinder as a hook up app. but I think it can be used that way.”
Tinder messages
Meghan Murphy, a freshman at CMU, said she she feels most of the people who match on Tinder never actually meet in real life.
Part of that might be from some of the messages sent over the app. Murphy’s friend, also sitting in the Bovee University Center, Kayla Smith, had experience with these Tinder users.
“The guys that say the really weird things on Tinder I just laugh and don’t reply. It is something to joke about, show all my friends, ‘oh look what this person sent me’ and move on.”
Murphy also added, “We Screenshot and send it in a group message, like oh ha look at this guy on Tinder.”
A user on the app messaged his match saying, “you remind me of my appendix, I wanna take you out.”
Other digital streams
Tinder is not the only social media app gaining popularity in the dating scene.
Being put on blast, meaning having someone write about you in a negative light, is a pretty common occurrence in the digital age. It happens on confession boards and Twitter pages at universities around the country.
At Central Michigan University there are CMU Confessions, CMU party stories, CMU Crushes, CMU boobs and #Getitoffyourchest. All seperate pages found on Twitter. These pages allow people to send in anonymous tweets to the curator to have them posted for all the followers to see.
Michigan State University has its own Twitter pages, such as MSU Concessions, MSU Party Tutor and MSU Party storiez.
Students are creating hashtags and pages that allow a multitude of people to upload graphic and sexualized pictures live from parties and events.
For instance, the College Confessions page shared this Tweet from a Wayne State student "Was going ham with this chick and accidentally slammed it in her asshole, she probably woke up the entire building when she screamed."
“I rushed alpha Kappa Psi just so I could get in on that hook up fest” - CMICH Confessions Twitter
This is nothing new, even at Wayne State there are pages that pop of weekly, said Whitney Kelsey and Daniel Massey, both students at WSU. Jealousy, flirtation, admiration and hate combined with alcohol can lead to a variety of anonymous posts.
Central’s CMU Crushes posted this Tweet: “Speaking of moms..dude Fitch's mom is a total babe like milf status no lie #CMUhotties.”
How much sex is going on?
Alcohol and sex long have been paired on college campuses.
In a survey conducted across the United States, the 2011-2013 CORE National Alcohol and Drug Survey reported that alcohol affected self-perceived sexiness, with 20.6 percent reporting that alcohol makes them sexier.
Also reported from the Core Alcohol and Drug Survey, 65.9 percent of students reported engaging in sexual intercourse within the past year and of these, 21.4 percent of students used alcohol the last time they had intercourse.
In the CMU survey, 64.71 percent of students said that they never go to parties to engage in sex while 24.84 percent answered “sometimes.”When asked why students go to parties, sex had the lowest response, at 8.44 percent, while socializing had the largest response with 85.71 percent.
Alcohol has been commonly referred to as “liquid courage.” It can make the shy girl boisterous, and suddenly turn the guy in the corner to Rico Suave. It is up to the consumer though, what they choose to do with their newly found confidence.
Asked how many sexual partners they had met at parties since the fall semester, 118 students reported they met none. Thirty-one of the survey takers reported one to three partners and one person answered that he or she had met over 10 partners at parties.
The party scene was reported in the survey to be a place that is helpful in finding a hook up not hugely successful. The Core national survey stated otherwise within people college aged.
“I think sex and hooking up is just a 21st century thing.” -Andrew King, 20, of CMU
After clearing away beer cans from the night before to leave a spot to sit, Halley sat on his couch. He said sex and partying are part of a self-discovery process.
“I think it is most popular in college to hook up because that is when you are trying to discover yourself. In high school you grew up with all those people and you were still caught up in the drama scene. Whereas in college, that is where you define who you are, so it is most popular there (to hook up) because you have the least responsibilities and meet the most people there, but I think it is just a fact of life in college,” said Halley.
At Michigan State University, Jay Szcodronski had experience with the college hook up culture with a roommate first hand.
“A couple girls from Central that my friends know came to state and both hooked up with my roommate who they had just met. Also Central/Western weekend was pretty crazy obviously and I saw a lot of hook ups around CMU,” he said.
“I think that there are thirsty guys and girls everywhere and it just depends on each individual's personality. However, I would say CMU has a sluttier campus based on circumstantial experiences.”
When she came to CMU as a bright-eyed freshman, Natalie Ayer from Lake Orion said her “number” grew, adding 10 sexual partners. “Now it's on average one or two a school year,” she said.
“I don't think CMU is any worse than other schools, I feel that because we're not too giant of a campus, it's more well known as to who hooks up with who. It is pretty common to see people about to hook up,” said Ayer, 21.
On any night out at a bar or house party at Central Michigan University, or any university for that matter, there can be couples seen leaving as a couple when they showed up alone.
“Dating has now become what it should be, rather than an exclusive one on one experience,” said Halley.
“[Hooking up] helps realize what qualities I want in a individual, so when I do choose someone to be monogamous with I know I am with the right person. I think the whole sleeping around thing has become more popular because we are not developed in the idea that there is one true person for me. We are starting to realize that there is more to attraction than fate or destiny so we see, ‘I should explore my options before settling down,’” said Halley.